Inspiration and Community

We got a response from the Jewish Agency earlier this week about our Aliyah application. It wasn’t bad news but I wouldn’t call it good news either. We have to supply more documents.  Well, actually, one new document and a couple of letters reprinted on official stationary. So, now we wait some more.

The problem I have when I have to wait is that I start thinking too much. This is the time when the unknowns fester and the doubts test my determination. I guess it’s a good thing. These times of reflection have served as spiritual reinforcement and have clarified my reasons for going home.

Israel is my home. There is an intense emptiness that has eaten away at me since leaving that I have longed to fill. I want to be whole again. A fellow blogger, Eli, posted a list along these same lines about the hole that is left. She is much more precise in her writing so I will simply second her sentiments and post a link to her blog here!

YouTube has been a wonderful source of encouragement during this waiting period as well. Nefesh B’Nefesh and the Jewish Agency have posted many Aliyah videos that have been both a source of tears and a source of encouragement. My wife and I watch this video all the time and, each time, it intensifies our longing and encourages us to NEVER give up.

In addition to the wonderful Nefesh B’Nefesh and Jewish Agency videos that have been posted there are hundreds of other movies that have been spiritually nourishing including one that I have watched over and over from Ronen Levi Yitzchak Segal z”l, who talks about his own longing to return and the spiritual reasons behind his beliefs.

His videos are a wonderful source of knowledge and caring that I wholeheartedly encourage you to watch. He will be missed by many (take a look at this beautifully written piece by Gruven Reuven) and, fortunately for those of us who never knew him, we still have a chance to learn from him through his posts.   

Of course, I have been able to talk to many past, current, and future olim who have been there to listen, support, and encourage me and my wife whenever we have needed someone to lean on. It just goes to show that Aliyah the process is a collective experience. It is not simply about embracing your faith, your home, and your community; you must allow yourself to be embraced by your faith, your home, and your community.

I pray that one day we will all be able to go home but, for now, I will continue waiting.

And Now We Wait….

I would rather be waiting here!

After a long and frantic day yesterday and the resulting feeling of this being the beginning of a waiting period between horrific events rather than an isolated tragedy, I had a completely opposite feeling today. While colored with a few tainted hues of recent reality, it was a tremendously exciting day when we would take the next step in our journey home.  

My wife and I met with our Shlicha this morning at The Jewish Agency office in New York. Well, we met after a taking the train from central New Jersey to Penn Station, walking across town, and filtering through the multiple stages of security. We brought all of our documents, even the Nefesh B’Nefesh ones we didn’t “need”, and I am glad we did. I will just say this: there is no such thing as too many recommendations.

After answering some questions about our background and our decision to make Aliyah, we sorting through the pile of papers that we thought were organized when we left the house this morning.

Birth Certificates? Check! Thanks Mom!

Marriage Certificate (with Apostille)? Check! We have an extra one without an Apostille if you want it… thanks Philadelphia.

Conversion Documents? Check (and check and check and check)! I have a lot of supporting documents. It’s a long, and some would say painful, story.

Letters from sponsoring Rabbi? Check and… check! That was a close one!

Health Declarations and Entry / Exit Forms? Check and Check!

Passports and additional passport photos? Check and Check! And that is when we said bye-bye to our passports. Good things we aren’t planning on leaving the country (well, at least not until the summer)!

With everything checked off the list (woo hoo) it was time for… more paperwork (d’oh). Okay, I’m exaggerating, it’s not that bad, just one more form. We borrowed our passports and filled out or immigration visa applications. And, as has been my theme during this entire process, every other line I would ask “what’s this?” or “what do I put here?”

Eventually, we got them filled out and signed and we returned them to our Shlicha along with our borrowed passports. Bye-bye passports (part deux).

And now, we wait. We wait and we prepare. Emotionally, financially, spiritually we prepare. Anxiously, excitedly, nervously we wait.

The First Step Before the Leap!

Our "family portrait" from our application.  

It’s time to start blogging again now that we have completed our Aliyah application and submitted it to Nefesh B’Nefesh. Well… it’s not entirely complete. We still have to make a few updates: we are waiting to get our exemplified marriage certificate back from Harrisburg, PA and my wife has to update her passport. Once those are done and the application is updated things will really start moving quickly.

The past couple of months have proven to be an interesting mix of emotions. I find that ups and downs, doubts and assurances, and moments of excitement and fear are very similar to the array that I experienced before getting married. I know it is the best thing for us and that that it will bring us happiness and fulfillment but, in order to do this, we have to leave our family and friends, adopt a different way of life, and basically, start over. At times, all of the unknowns converge to make this a very frightening endeavor.

In the end, this is what I believe is the best thing for us. After all, we are going home!

I know that many of you have made Aliyah, are thinking about it, or are currently filling out an application which is why I wanted to share our supporting essay with all of you. This was the most difficult part that I had to fill in as I had to put pure emotion on the page. It’s not the best thing every written but it is honest and that was the goal of this exercise. Hopefully, being able to see this will help some of you with your own essay. So, here it is the supporting essay from our Nefesh B’Nefesh application…

Obviously, there is much more to our decision than our previous responses and we hope the information below helps. It is a little awkward as this decision and these emotions have been difficult for us to verbalize.  

We have been struggling the past few years to find our place in life as it has been a constant process of finding where we belonged: finding our faith, our people, and each other. Until we landed in Israel we hadn't found our place in the world. During those eight days we lived without the weight that life places on you, we lived our faith, we lived with pride, and we felt like we belonged. It was the feeling of being embraced by generations of longing and desire… a fulfillment of our prayerful declaration “Next year in Jerusalem.” Leaving left us on the verge of tears and, at that moment, we promised that we would return.

Before that visit, we never fully understood why we face Jerusalem when we pray, why we say "next year in Jerusalem", or why we fight so hard (and, in some cases, lose friends) defending the rights of Israel. We knew why we did these things both in our hearts and in our minds but it wasn't until we breathed the ancestral air that those acts, words, and beliefs permeated our entire being. It was the indescribable feeling of home. A feeling beyond the simple definition of where one was raised but a feeling of belonging, comfort, passion, practice, a place that is simply right, a gift from Hashem. It is a feeling that we have only had in Israel.

We know we will have to give up many of the luxuries afforded us in the US but we know we can live a full Jewish life in Israel and that is what really matters. We want to be a part of something greater; we want to live a Jewish life that is the foundation of the country as well as the community we live in. We want to live in the center of the Jewish world and as we continue to grow in our faith and become more observant we want to live the daily mitzvah of living in Israel.

We want to be free to be Jews. We want to live (and raise future children) where we can see and experience the places in the Torah, learn about our past, and be a part a part of the ongoing history of our people. We want the calendar to read 5771 rather than 2011 and know the holidays highlighted are Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur rather than Christmas and Easter. We want to be able to wear a kippah or cover our hair without being glared at in stores. We want to walk down the street knowing that if we ask someone where we could find the nearest shul or kosher restaurant that they would know. We want to feel safe and know that everyone is looking out for one another. Some people call it intrusive but we see it as security and community.

We want to speak and live a life in Hebrew. While we have started learning the basics by building upon what we learned during our conversions and what we practice in prayer, it is a slow process when not applied to everyday life. Just as the history and beauty of the language elevates our prayers we want it to elevate our daily life. Even without fully understanding we still got that feeling during our honeymoon as we listened to the conversations in the cafes, on the street, at the Kotel, everywhere.  

On the more practical side of things, life expectancy is nearly two years longer in Israel, the crime rate is lower, a thriving economy, universal healthcare, and educational options for our future children are more plentiful. In order to live a Jewish life in the US it is expensive to the point that we can't afford it by ourselves now without children. We can't afford to live in a Jewish community, pay synagogue dues, or shop at kosher supermarkets. It is a sad feeling when you realize you can’t afford to live a Jewish life. 

Simply put, we want to live what we believe. We believe Israel is the homeland of the Jewish people; we believe Israel is our home. We want to go home!